Reflections

Technology
Thanks to technology and its ability to shrink our planet through the reach of the Internet, cellular telephones and all the tools that come with them, I never felt alone. As long as there was a signal I was always connected to family and friends. The Web 2.0 technology of blogs, Twitters and Facebook meant that I could share my thoughts and pictures whenever I had access. The cell phone, with Internet capability, kept me in touch by voice, emails and text messages. At a time when I could have felt isolated, alone and so far away, I felt the love and care of people back home across the USA via voice, emails and comments on my blog. I am grateful for technology! It is what keeps so many soldiers and civilians sane throughout their extended time here in a war. They have connections to their family and loved ones back home provided by the military or the agency that is sponsoring them. Access to the Internet and being able to utilize video conferencing, voice over IP (Internet telephone), Facebook, My Space, emails and the old telephone, makes a world of difference to these brave souls. And let’s not forget, they do keep up with the news through the computer along with that ancient of technologies, television. Unfortunately this same technology is a tool of the Taliban, used to monitor and spy, to infiltrate and investigate as well as detonate explosives using cell signals or digital camera flashes.

Safety
There was never a day I went out with the military that I felt unsafe. The preparation, training and new ultra armored vehicles that are now being used in this war was a constant reminder to me that I was in the company of the best military in the world. The young men were just that, young, funny, sad, sometimes irascible but always cordial and respectful. They reminded me of my son in so many ways. But come time to mount up and go out of the wire, they were professional, alert, in tune to the surrounding dangers, fully capable of taking on the bad guys and more than willing to do so. Not knowing who your enemy is, not being able to discern good from bad, and using the idea that if kids are around and playful that all was good meant that they were always alert and could never let their guard down. Any difference in the road ahead, an abandoned car, motorcycle or pile of rocks could be the next IED triggered by a cell phone. I always felt safe, I always felt secure – as long as I was surrounded by the best the USA could produce.

Fear
Feeling safe and knowing the value of the soldiers and bodyguards that surround you still does not remove the fear from your mind. Whether racing through the crowded streets of Kabul and feeling some anxiety the first time you are trapped in a traffic jam or surrounded by faces in a crowd gathered to sort out a traffic accident or walking through the dirt paths of a village in a hostile district, you will feel fear. After all, regardless of the lack of bombs bursting in air, rockets or bullets being fired in your direction, you are still in a war zone. The hard part about this war is you have to constantly ask yourself – who is my enemy? Is it the young man smiling at me, the elders denying that the Taliban is in their village or the widow who has lost her husband to one side or the other of this war and wants revenge? Yes, there is the constant of the unknown, and therefore, there is fear.


Human Spirit and Character
How else could a germaphobe, a picky eater, a loner and a boy spoiled by his grandmother so many years ago, endure the things I have endured over the past 4 weeks? The ability of the human mind, body and spirit to adapt to circumstances is an amazing truth. Having to live with a coworker in the closest quarters imaginable for several weeks has been a challenge. Yet my colleague and I have survived and endured with not one miniscule disagreement or disruption to our routine. I have slept on a hard office floor choosing to do so rather than live in deplorable almost inhumane accommodations that some of our finest young soldiers find themselves. I have welcomed a small, hard bed after those nights on the floor never imagining that just having a mattress means so much more than bed size or its comfort. I am thankful for a sleeping bag to keep me warm when I had little control over the temperature or the place I lay my head. I have had to share showers and toilets with an international array of men – Poles, Afghans, Italians, Romanians, Australian, British and of course Americans. Some of these facilities I am certain are in worse shape than many prisons in the United States. I have endured the cramped quarters of several military transport vehicles, thumping and bumping over some of the worst terrain in the world wanting to pee so bad with every jerk of my bladder. I have been thankful to hear the call – “525 – Safety Stop” knowing that was the code for a pit stop where all men being equal, wet down the soil in unison around our heavily armed vehicle including the turret gunner who also gets relief to get a bladder break instead of using a water bottle. I have learned to live with loaded weapons always at the ready, heavily armed men on constant alert and even had training on the use of very large as well as small arms…yes me, the person with the aversion to any and all artillery.

Trust
How do you trust strangers? Why do others trust you? How does the local Afghan learn to trust the American soldier or civilian who promises to help not hurt the people? You engender trust by example. By showing that you truly care and giving of yourself and the resources at your disposal, you can make the populace learn to trust that your word is your bond. You trust sometimes through faith. Faith in knowing that the soldier has been trained to recognize danger and to react appropriately; Faith in yourself that you have prepared yourself over time to do what’s right and true for the betterment of mankind; Faith in a higher power that will protect and keep you whatever the circumstance. You have to trust the intelligence gatherers who risk their lives each and every day to get the word out on the latest threats that are real in this deadly, dangerous environment. You must trust your instincts – that whatever you are feeling at the time, the presence of danger, the unsaid word, or the imperceptible nod or signal of one local to the next – we trust that we are alert to the place and events that surround us.

Love
I am so thankful for the love of family and friends who think so much of you that they pray for you, think about you always and reach out to you in such a real way. I’m touched by the love of country shown by each and every soldier, Foreign Service officer, government and non-government civilians who volunteer to serve and give back to a war torn country and its people. I am impressed by the genuine love that is shared between citizens of this country and those from around the world who choose to share in their lives so they can live free of fear, be more educated and ultimately be safer. I trust in the love of the people of Afghanistan for their country, enough to risk their very lives and those of their families by defying the evil of the Taliban and other religious zealots who would impose their brutality upon their own people especially the women and girls of their country. The good are determined to overcome the bad. They continue to teach young girls with the threat of beatings and the burning of their village. They are good, hardworking souls who only want to better themselves and their society in order to survive in a world that obviously needs more tolerance, trust, and LOVE!

I’m coming home….